Mass effect: Blak
by Just Grim
Summary: Takes place in Mass effect 2 (though, EDI has her robot body like the one in 3, just go with it.) The galaxy's in trouble, and Shepard gets a message from a merc named Blak (like the color Black). But this merc wants to help her on her quest... Provided there's whiskey on the way. Warning: has swearing... Really mean swear words, guns, and sexual themes. So... Enjoy!
1. Ch1 Alien piss drink

The stars were almost endless, in a space full of darkness and devoided of life.

But then came a ship made of steel. Almost as lifeless, but within it beg to differ.

At the helm of the ship was a man, sat alongside a woman made of mechanical parts. The man wore a cap, but was just like most of the crew. They wore their uniforms with the symbol for a military sort called Cerberus.

Suddenly, the high esteemed and surely known Commander Shepard came in the flying courters

"Joker, how are things coming along? I heard we almost hit some sort of... rock?"

Joker didn't take his eyes off his trail. Nor did he take his eyes off of his mechanical companion, EDI. "Everything's fine commander, just me and EDI..."

"Don't tell me. I let you do as you do without interfering. As long as it doesn't interfere with the mission or the goals of the mission. Or, as long as it doesn't seem like an immoral choice on my behalf."

Jokers turned around and smirked at the beautiful commander "dont worry. Nothing can distract me from getting us where we need to go."

And then EDI added, with her attractive voice "I'll help him on that part too."

Shepard nodded and walked away. She looked to her navigator, Kelly. "You have a message, Commander. I hope I'm doing well."

Kelly was an attractive woman, and a great woman who did what she needed to do at times. Shepard wondered why she talked about herself like she's not great at her job.

"You're doing fine, Kelly."

Shepard looked at the little console, and there several messages she hadn't read. She once tried reading the messages, but she always fell asleep. But one message caught her interest. It said:

Blak for hire! Does not use pussy guns or require any sort of armor.

Shepard smirked and read on

Very skilled with weapons and one man infantry. Locate on Omega.

"Well... this sounds interesting. A merc sending me messages to hire him. Huh... probably not one of the other mercenary groups we've encountered. Alright," she stood in the podium looking at the places to go "Joker, set a course to Omega."

Shepard, Miranda, and Garrus went to the club, Afterlife. They past all the people dancing and made their way to the owner of the whole place; Aria.

She looked at Shepard and her squad, and said "Shepard, don't you have a galaxy to save?" The blue woman sat back in her little couch by the big screens of dancing women.

"Well," Shepard began "I received a message from some merc named Blak."

Aria sipped her little alcohol and looked at Shepard, letting out small words "Who's Black? Why would someone be named after a color?"

Shepard looked at the message again, and repeated it. Aria paused for a while. But then smirked.

"I think I remember a certain guy walking into Omega, he seemed to be lost. First time in Omega, maybe. First time away from Home."

Shepard stared intently at Aria, waiting for an answer. Aria groaned and said

"I had my men take him to the other club. I was tired of him looking at me."

Shepard and her squad walked away, walking to the other club.

"Shepard," The perfectly engineered bio woman Miranda began "I don't know about recruiting this... Blak. He sounds like an amateur, and even if he isn't, how are we going to trust a merc?"

"I don't know about him actually being a mercenary," the Turian Garrus said "But if he is an amateur, then is it a good idea letting him on board?"

Shepard looked at the two, and said "I won't do anything to endanger my crew or the mission. Just... let me do things my way."

They walked in the bar, and inside was an angry long haired man who seemed to of thrown a glass down to the ground, breathing heavily with anger.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T HAVE WHISKEY?! ITS A FUCKIN' BAR, AIN'T IT!?"

The Salarian bartender looked this flannel wearing, jean and booted, revolver toting, chub in the eyes and said

"sir, whiskey is an alcohol that can kill your intestines!"

The man only stared at the Salarian "You alien fucks don't even have a god damn decent drink..."

He turned to Shepard and her squad "not only an amateur, but a violent alcoholic." Garrus muttered.

The man took a look at the three, and said "Hey, girly. Looking to hire a mercenary?"

The commander looked him up and down "Are you THE Blak that messaged me?"

He smirked and said "I guess those damn dusty computers do work after all."

"I'm sorry," Miranda said, intruding "did you say dusty computers? Why were you using computers?"

Blak shrugged. "I don't even know how to use the damn things..."

he sat on one of those stools by the bar and said "I wake up to this world all monkeyed on technology, and I can't even..." he sighed "never really had much skills in technology. Just a trigger finger and a liking to whiskey."

The three just stared at him, as he looked at the glass reflection of himself. They wondered what he awoke from, definitely. But also wondered why he wanted a job as a mercenary

"why ask for a job with me?" Shepard asked, looking at Blak "Why don't you join the blue suns or some group?"

Blak looked at the squad and said "I checked them out. There not Mercenaries. There drug dealing thugs. I don't do that shit. I kill for pay."

"So... youre like an assassin?" Miranda asked.

"No, I mean during wars. I killed generals with AMERICAN guns and I've tooken down AMERICAs greatest enemies. The guns you folks use now... are pussy guns."

"These "pussy" guns," Shepard said "can go through any enemies armor and energy shields."

Blak only looked at Shepard with eyes of anger and said "Un American guns are pussy guns."

"You sure are patriotic for a dying country."

Blaks eyes winded down on the anger, and began to fill with sorrow, but tears wouldn't come out. He said "Fuck... Commander Shepard, you think you could get me some whiskey if I help you defeat your enemies?"

"Well, since you've stated you're not an amateur, I can try."

Suddenly, Blak got up from the stool with a smirk on his face and said "Thank God! I thought I was doomed to alien piss alcohol!"

The Salarian bartender had an angry face, looking at Blak, and said

"The only alien piss you'll drink is the piss you'll deserve."

With the middle finger raised, and a laugh, Blak said "Fuck your drinks, your bar, and... yourself."

They left, and took Blak to the Normandy, who was amazed by the whole thing. The vessel stood in port "I'll be God damned! That's a beaut! Damn! You got any booze on there!"

Shepard went to check on Blak in his quarters, but he wasn't in the engine room that he asked to be in (because it reminded him of car engines).

She heard laughing in the port room, the room where all the cargo is. Grunts quarters.

Shepard entered the room, and there was Blak. The two were laughing around. "Glad to see your getting along with the crew."

Blak looked up, with tearful eyes cause of all the laughing, and said "I was gonna kick this krogans ass, but he and I found out we have a lot in common!"

"We both don't like those lizard Salarians." Grunt added

"And we both woke up in tanks."

Shepard looked at Blak "You were born from one of those tanks?"

Blak shook his head "I awoke from a cryogenic tank. Some bastard thought it'd be funny to get me drunk and shoved me in that shitty tank."

"Exactly... what year did you come from?"

Blak looked at Grunt and asked "when were you born, big guy?"

Grunt looked back at his tank and said "Can't remember. Just that I ran at Shepard, ready to prove my strength."

Blak sighed and said "I was born in 1987, got in the frozen food section in 2020. What's the year?"

Shepard couldn't help but just stare. This guys been around for that along? Almost like an Asari, except... accidentally.

"Damn. I'm thirsty. Wheres a drink when you need it?" He suddenly had a sly grin "Hey Shepard... That Jack chick down stairs got any booze? And horny intentions?"

Shepard just walked out of Grunts room.


	2. Ch2 pretty asari woman

"Commander." Miranda called out, walking toward the Commander in the navigation zone "Was Blak allowed to have...sex with Jack?"

Shepard looked at her surprised "That happened?"

"Yes and I heard them down below. Even Tali was kept up by them."

"I don't control my crew and their relationships. If you want to be with someone, go ahead." Shepard walked away as Miranda shook her head, and left the room.

Shepard picked Blak and Jack to go with her to Ilium. The finest planet, held the Assassin and Justicar. Two killing forces that could help against the collectors.

"Stop it." Jack said, noticing Blak glancing at her.

Shepard was looking around in the stores, so she couldn't help Jack. "We had sex, so stop staring at me."

Blak didn't. "I just wanna piss you off. See how angry sex is."

She shook her head "I don't do sex twice. Fuck off."

"Aw, sweet heart." Blak walked over to her, looking into her eyes "You and I both know we haven't had better nights."

She shook her head "fucking is fucking."

Shepard came back, and asked "what are you two talking about?"

"Nothing anymore'" Jack answered.

The Asari officer told them the Justicar was investigating the alley, searching for clues of the criminal. Blak muttered "Shepard, I'm a mercenary. Not a damn police officer."

Shepard thanked the detective and took her crew outside "I know your not, Blak. But we need the Justicar."

"What the hell is a Justicar?" The long haired chub asked.

Shepard was going to explain, but Jack beat her to it "there the bigger police officers. They kill people that break there laws or something, I don't know. There just bigger then those asari we were talking to."

"There like samurai's." Shepard concluded for Jack.

The three walked to the alley way. A group of Eclipse mercs were talking. Planning something. "What's the plan, Shepard?" Jack asked.

Blak grabbed the sides of his jacket "I'll tell you what we'll do. Those Mercs won't know what hit them."

He opened up his jacket to a large arsenal of grenades. "The handiness of flannels." He remarked.

He took the one out and threw it at the group of mercs, who caught wind of the grenade as it blew up in there faces.

"Under fire! Under fire!" They shouted, running to cover as Blak's bullets began to fly.

"That's how you start a gunfight!" Blak remarked.

Jack grinned when she shot one of those Blue suns in the face, there helmet piece flying off.

"I would if preferred to snipe the leader out, Blak!" Shepard said.

Shepard wasn't too mad at Blak, but she didn't like the shoot and ask questions later kind of routine. But she did admit, it caught them in the element of surprise.

Blak's pistol fired off rounds, the enemy's visors cracking as blood slowly pouring from the cracks.

Another one got Shepard's beam to the chest, the armor fracturing and bursting out a chest pierced by a heated beam.

Suddenly, one of the Eclipse mercenaries was lifted up with there whole body hurled to the floor. Lifted up, and hurled back down again till his helm broke and a couple of teeth falling out. His neck broken.

"Holy Fuck!" Blak shouted. "What was that?! The force?"

"The hells he talking about Shepard?"

"He's new here. In the galaxy. Remember? I think what he's referring to is some movie gimmick."

Shepard looked at Blak, his expressions looked as a child's watching the older brother do a stunt successfully. He was at awe and wanted to know what kind of power that was. And also wondered what it'd be like using those abilities during sex.

"It's biotics made from element Zero, like telekinesis thats been implanted in a persons body... Its kinda like X-men. But its from exposure to Mass effect zones. Not many infants gain biotic abilities. Some get tumors or cancers. But Asari are naturally born with it."

Blak was still curious. Yet... He became frightened.

"Its not like that whole... Natzi Germany thing with the Holocaust is it?"

Shepard shook her head rather fast, trying to get through that question as quick as possible.

"No no! Its like a weapon. Like a gun or a knife."

"Oh, okay... Then I won't feel bad about fucking anybody with those powers. Wonder if its-"

"Not gonna happen, Blak. I told you, I only have sex once with strangers."

"Oh come on, girly! It could be even more fun! I bet you haven't done it with those powers."

"Shepard! Make him stop."

Shepard gave Blak those eyes that said 'you better stop or else I'll shoot you'. She probably wouldn't shoot him, but that didn't mean he wasn't crossing any lines.

He sighed "okay, okay. I'll stop."

Shepard led them further in the lot, fighting the blue suns and shooting them down. Gunning a road full of mercs that peddled drugs and killed people who were in the way of THERE job.

Blak even remered he met with the leader of the gang. A salarian and smarter then the mercenary with a potty mouth and drinking problems. One of them is not enough whiskey in the future.

 _"What's this human doing here?" The bastard said._

 _Blak had been trying to find work in this gilded hell hole. But this guy was a dick. But he needed a job doing what he loved._

 _Fighting._

 _"He's one of those mercenaries from the old government in the 21st century. He was In cryogenic sleep for a long time. Longer then most..." The asari woman said, trying to "advertise" him._

 _But the salarian wasn't fancied by the merc, who looked at him waiting for the job or to find a bar._

 _"Even if he's apart of the old government Mercenary force, why would they keep him cold for so long?"_

 _"Look, lizard," the salarian sat silent but still looked pissed "I was free lance before I was ice food. So what if I was held up forever, a fine wine is aged by the years that come. At least that's what I hear, I don't drink much of that stuff. Champaign, beer, shnops, and whiskey. Those are my drinks."_

 _"I don't care what kind of drink you like, you alcoholic! I don't even care if wine is aged! But... You made a point with the reference. If your that good, then show me. Head with my men to... A little settlement on a planet."_

 _Blak was glad to get some work, but what he got wasn't something he was use to. And didn't want to do that work. He couldn't recognize it as mercenary work._

They made there way into a room full of cargo, and there, a floating asari with features as beautiful as a model. With tentacles for hair. She landed on a criminal, putting the heel of her shoe on there neck.

"Make peace with the Goddesses." And snapped the neck.

Blak was amazed. She was prettier then his school crush back in Oklahoma, prettier then that chick from those hologram shows he's tried to watch, and made him feel good just looking at her.

This is the first asari he thought could be so beautiful. Well... Besides those dancers at Omega, but they were dancers. Not a police, guard, soldier.

"You must be the Justicar, Samara." Shepard had Intel from EDI and the Illusive man.

The woman in her skin tight armor greeted Shepard.

"I was hoping to meet you, I've gotten Intel of an asari Justicar. I'm hoping you can help against the collectors."

Samara sighed, she was here for a reason. All though, this mission Shepard has is a mission she should take part in, but...

"As tempted as I am, I must find the name of a ship a... Fugitive who escaped from the my clutches. I must go to further, find more information."

Shepard was told to give her to the asari officers, she was obstructing the illium law.

"You can't. Anaya says she needs you to come back to her office."

"If she is trying to keep me from my duty, then I will be forced to terminate her."

Blak stepped forward, shocked by what the Justicar said. He thought that a Justicar was like a police officer, they don't kill each other.

"Woah, woah, woah!" He cried, getting everyones attention "I don't think you need to kill her! I thought you Justies were like Officers of the law."

"We in force a higher law." She sighed though. "I will, however, revoke my wrath on Anaya. But I need the name of that ship."

Blak nodded "whatever you need, you got it. Just don't cause a scene in this dish washed town."

Samara looked at Blak with her head tilted back and her brows curved in confusion "What an odd way of speaking you have. You almost sound like the old recordings of people in the older times. Almost as if you were a bred 2020 citizen."

Shepard waved it off and said "its something you'll have to put off for a while. We have a mission here we need to do."

"Yes... I couldn't agree more."

They became four and walked back to the station


	3. CH3 F'n Toasters

Shepard was able to keep the Justicar from killing the Asari detective, but they had a whole new mission:

Find the name of the ship that held the fugitive.

And also find out who killed the Vollin.

Blak wandered who this fugitive was. Did they know the Eclipse mercs well enough to just get on board... Or was there this inside friend? More importantly, what made this fugitive wanted so bad.

"Hey, Justicar woman."

Samara, meditating above the desk, glared at him. She was studying him, almost. Except she didn't really care for him and his ungroomed face.

"Yes? What is it you ask?"

"I was wandering about this fugitive of yours and why she's so important."

The Justicar only gave him the simplest of answers. And it screamed far from what her reasons are.

"She is a highly dangerous fugitive that must be put down. I must find her."

Blak, knowing the whole trade of merc and bounty hunter thing (it went hand in hand sometimes) he knew she wasn't giving up much. She didn't seem like the type to do things for greed, but she was holding out on info.

"Alright, I see how it is. I've done trade like that."

"I do not mean any hard feelings." The Justicar said. "I would rather keep these matters private."

"Good job with that." Jack remarked.

Blak followed Shepard and jack to the docking bays, where it they were bound to find the name of that ship, but also a bunch of pissed off eclipse thugs. And apparently, something toxic. Yet, its suppose to make biotic users more powerful.

The elevator took awhile to get to the floor they needed to go. And there wasn't any elevator music...

"I could use a good jam right now." Blak said.

But the walls were cold white, just like this future seemed cold. It was dull in its peaceful style, but just like in his days, there's no peace. Just quiet.

A machine rose up, activating when it felt the presents of enemies.

Blak pulled out his revolver and fired all the rounds out of it. Breathing heavily and shaking with anticipation. "That thing scared the hell out of me!"

Shepard and Jack looked at him, looked at the crazy man scared of robots.

He saw they were staring, as if they didn't understand... Then again, they didn't "what?" He said "don't think I won't shoot that fucking toaster! Fucking toaster shits..."

Shepard just shook her head "let's keep going, there's bound to be some more enemies in the next room."

"Yeah," jack said "and they probably heard mister Dumb ass over here!"

"Jack! Don't start it now."

If anyone cared, it was Shepard. She didn't exactly support Blak in any way, though knew he was still new. But she didn't want something stupid to start a fight in the middle of there mission.

They had entered the enemy lines, ready to kill. And there fingers on their triggers. Guns were fired, and the fight was on, waging against a group willing to kill Shepard and her squad mates.

Blak held his gun, looking down the barrel and watching for one of those basterd's to pull there head up. Patients wasn't his strong suit though...

So he chunked a grenade at the eclipse thug and waited for chunks to fly.

"Holy shi-" boom! A head flew up into the ceiling only for it to smack the hard roof and fall into the chasm of the building.

"Nice." Jack complimented.

"You bet your ass its nice!" Blak remarked, and then proceeded to kill more of those "mercs".

Left to right, Blak made deaths occupation just a bit easier. Bullets pearcing armor, and visors cracking open. Blood was spilling, and a face was obliterated. Thanks to Shepard, of coarse.

Blak looked at her fine gun, had the looks of a sniper and the blast of a shotgun angled one way. And he couldn't help but envy Shepard's gun.

"Okay, okay! The guns you use aren't pussy guns..."

"And you want one."

Blak nodded without a good pace, his little eyes looked as a child's on Christmas day. Which was disturbing, because he has the face of a grown man.

Shepard reluctantly handed her sniper to blak, and he put his hand on rifle. He touched the trigger and looked through the scope. He was kinda extatic. The frame was so clean... Clean enough to see the eclipse thug sneaking into a room.

He took his eyes above the scope and looked at the door slide up, knowing that a certain someone is trying to hide from them.

"Hey, Shepard..." He looked at the commander "I think there's someone trying to play hide and seek with us."

Shepard looked at where the sniper was pointing. A door.

They approached the room, hearing someone gasp but try and keep silent. Try and keep hidden. Blak knew something like that.

Shepard walked out of the room, for a little bit. But she came back and pulled out her pistol, letting it come out of its coil.

The woman came out, well, girl. She was Asari, but blak knew a young kid when he saw one. She had a smooth blue face like the rest of them.

"What are you doing here? Your just a kid."

She hesitated. Pulling up her pistol. Blak and jack pulled there's up too, out numbering the guns held. The girl said "I was just pretending to shoot you! I wasn't going to actually kill you!"

"You wearing enemy armor, I'm going to kill you!" Jack yelled.

"What's your name?" Shepard asked.

The girl looked around, attempting to say her own name. "Elnora. My names Elnora. I only became a merc because I thought we would be shooting bad guys around the galaxy. But they've only been smuggling drugs and even ported an Arhdot Yatdsi."

"A Ardat... Yatsi? What the hells that?" Blak asked, as confused as Shepard.

"It translates to 'demon of the night wind.' I always thought they were superstition. But... I saw her."

"Highly dangerous, hmm...?" Blak thought about how this chick could be so dangerous... And then wondered if she was any hot. She probably was.

Shepard had to continue the questioning for the ship name. Elnora didn't know, but then there came the question if she murdered the fat Vollin. She shook her head, but it took her awhile to deny it.

Blak pulled out his revolver, putting a bullet in one of its fillers.

"What's that?!" Elnora asked, a lump stuck in her throat.

He held the gun up, its black steel shining to the light of the room "why, my dear, its a classic gun. Back in... What? 1970 something, a great gun was made for a great film. Coarse, there were two guns, a prop gun and the real gun. I got the real one."

"How many bullets are in that?" Elnora asked.

"Oh... Just two."

"Your ly-" before Elnora could say it, Blak pulled the trigger and shot the bullet into the wall, proving her wrong.

"Shit!" She cried.

"Okay. Were going to take a lie detector test, and I'd really appreciate the truth. If you wanna say it..."

The girl was completely quiet, her gun in Shepard's hand after the first bullet flew.

Blak sighed, and pulled the trigger. A click of an empty filler, and the girl squealed. Blak was getting somewhere, but instead of giving him an answer, she just breathed heavily.

He pulled the trigger again, and Elnora squealed again.

"I don't know where the second bullet is, but I suggest you say something already."

"Okay, okay, okay!" She was all teary eyes and holding herself "I killed the Vollin! I killed it to get in the eclipse group! Everyone has to kill for there initiation."

Blak put his gun back, looking at the poor girl. These basterd merc groups were going to learn a thing or two once Blak could find them. Maybe find and gut the eclipse leader first... Yeah. Make him pay.

"Shepard, can we take her with us?"

They all looked at him. Shepard the most surprised looking. She didn't know if it was such a good idea to take just anyone with them. Especially on there mission.

"I'm not sure..."

"You know the eclipse group would kill her once we get out of here. She just spilled the beans on all of them. Come on, captain. At least for awhile."

"I'm not a captain, I'm a commander." She sighed, though. Thinking about these thugs. "But I see what your saying, blak. Fine, she can stay on our ship, but your looking after her."

She gave Elnora a good look, almost warning her she was going to speak firmly. "If you don't meet us at the Normandy, we WILL use the evidence you gave us. Got it?"

The girl nodded, and ran off.

"Good girl." Shepard remarked "let's keep moving."

{Hope you enjoyed this edited chapter!}


	4. Notice

For those of you following this, thank you for your support but I can not continue this story. I will, however, redo it! So, you'll see a better told version of this story, I promise you that. It wont be so clustered this time around.


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